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Friday, August 3, 2012

Do You Offer??

There are some that do and some that don't.

When you are going to someones house do you offer to bring something?
When at someones house on a visit or meal do you offer to do something?
When going to someone else's home for meal or party do you take a gift?
When staying in someones home do you take something or assist?
When staying in someones home do you make or strip the bed etc?

Is it something we were taught as Children or something we have decided on our own?  
Then again...   Perhaps its something no longer thought of at all.

Is it true its not really an obligation or expectation anymore to take something when visiting someones home? 
I have kinda assumed this from my own life experiences - i could be wrong.
I am sometimes amazed in the difference in those who offer and those who don't seem to have a clue.

My sister-in-law whenever she visits always manages to end up doing the dishes, i have a perfectly good dishwasher but she does them anyways. If we're having dinner all together and I'm feeding the baby she puts a plate together for me and gets a drink for me - shes just thoughtful like that.  She'll often pick up coffee on her way to our house because i usually end up providing a meal or something.
She'll always make sure the kids tidy up the toys and even cater to my OCD ways of doing so.

Then there are those who just create more work for me. 

The ones who stay a night or two and don't bring anything, offer to help, make the bed or even pick up a bath towel.
The kids that come over to play (and it looks like a tornado has been through) and they don't even offer to pack away.  
The people that come to dinner. Generally a well thought out meal comprising of more than two courses. I have shopped, prepared and presented a culinary delight as well as run children around, scrubbed my house and well quite frankly put in alot of time, money and effort without completely losing my sanity.  Yet they can't bring a bottle of wine, a block of chocolate or even thank me for such efforts. 
What is wrong with these people!  

All of the above actually happened to me last weekend and I'm still in disbelief of these people. I've spent most of the week in recovery of their visit - washing sheets and towels and packing away toys.  I went to alot of effort to have my house sparkling, beds made perfectly as well as providing four meals to which no one offered to help and nothing was brought in gratitude. 

I am the one who has a newborn surely a little gratitude was warranted?

By Bel x


  1. I was taught as a child to always take something when you are invited for a visit. I have also taught my children to do this. Even if we are just calling past or popping in - my theory is never turn up empty handed. It's just good old fashioned manners. However manners are a dying thing in today's world, which is very sad.

  2. I so agree Jacana, where are everyones "good old fashioned manners"!! hmmm maybe i should start another blog and remind people of some of them.
    Thanks for stopping by again.

  3. I have found that there is a massive generation gap there! If my friends who are a similar age to me (24/25) come over most of them don't offer to clear the table, tidy up, do anything or bring anything... and I feel exactly the way you mentioned! But some of my other friends are brilliant! And my partners mum is absolutely wonderful at offering, helping, bringing, etc. BUT you're right... some people don't even think of it (regardless of age). I guess everyone's different. Even if it seems like total common sense (and manners/respect) to us! Sigh.


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