With washing waiting to be folded and cereal in our hair we share our roller coaster lives to inspire, relate and communicate with Mums just like us.

All things family related food, recipes, reviews, gardening, crafts, educational play, home things, outings and more.

Hi! We're in the process of moving over to our new site. You can find our content here for now or check out the old and the brand NEW at www.mumstakefive.com

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

What happens to your BFF after forever?

My Nan's BFF past away this week and I wonder what happens to you after your longest friend passes away? 

Nan (90) met MY (Myfanwy) (96) back before WW2 she later became engaged to my Grandfathers brother Bev who was then killed in action during the War.   MY went on to marry another lad and had a family and although she never became part of our family technically i think my Nan and Grandfather always considered her so.

To have a friend for so long and although your lives took different directions to always have that friend i think is remarkable.  They didn't have the advantages of free phone calls or the Internet so the effort to keep the relationship for over 70 years indicates to me a true friendship.

I met MY last year (although i guess i may have as a child, I'm sure she knew all about me) at my Nan's 90th birthday party.  MY had been moved into a nursing home a couple of years ago and Nan had lost contact with her. It took a while but i managed to track her down through her daughter who was a Dentist i knew her name and roughly what area she lived in so i just rang around till i found the right one.  Of course her daughter had left the practice two weeks prior but i explained to the Receptionist my need to contact her and she sent her a fax with my details and her daughter rang me that night.  
The reunion was lovely.   Nan didn't know most people were going to be there she thought it was just family so it was a great surprise but to have MY there was special.  My Grandfathers other brother "Dal"(my Nan's brother in law) who is also in his 90's was there and they hadn't seen or spoken for many decades they were so pleased to meet again also.  MY said to Dal "Do you remember me?" and Dal said "My of course i remember you".   How sweet.

To lose your husband or partner is life shattering I'm sure.  Your life and world have been with this person and now they are not there. You rebuild your everyday life without them never forgetting but coping with the fact that they aren't there.  

What if they weren't physically there for most of your lives?
The day to day of life isn't really affected.
Someone so close to your heart yet not close to your life.
Is it still the same loss?  Do you grieve the same?  Do you miss them the same?

I think the longest friendships i have are around twenty years and yes we have all gone different directions and we have different lives. Some i speak to now and then, some regularly and some definitely not often enough!  There is many miles between most of my nearest and dearest friends and I yet i feel when ever we do meet its like it was yesterday. 

Will i have these friendships for another fifty or more years?  I hope so but you never know.
I think i would truly truly be devastated if something were to happen to one of them.

To my BFF's please know that if something were to happen to you, which i pray it doesn't but if it did:

My life would be the same without you yes, but my heart would forever be different.  Memories and thoughts of you forever precious.   xx

Rest in Peace MY thank you for being such a good friend to my Nan.  xx


  1. Sorry to hear about your Nan's BFF. Nice that you were able to get them in touch with each other.

    Wish we lived closer! We have plenty of memories from our more 'youthful' days to our adventures overseas.

    Our lives are so different these days with the addition of a little boy each & now baby girls.

    Always thinking of you & that's the way I like it xxx

  2. I think the most important this is that you told you BFF how you feel. I can't imagine my life without my BFF. Honestly, I don't know how I would function. You'd always miss them, always have a hole in your heart everytime you want to share a special moment with them. Lovely post with a nice reminder to tell people we love how we feel.


Thank you so much for taking the time to read and to comment.
We really appreciate your time!